i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
