He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
