i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
