the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I forget how to act sober
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize