Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
