i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
And then he peed in my hair
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