I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
