found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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