All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
