the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
