There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
