I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
