Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize