If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
