OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
