Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
