they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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