so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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