in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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