You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
