Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize