Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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