just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
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Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
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Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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