i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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