This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
