u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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