I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize