it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
