wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
