why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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