Do you still have your period?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
