the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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