she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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