Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
