If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
