These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
