if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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