when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
