I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we made out on top of his cat.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
