I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
