hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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