I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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