we're blogging at a bar
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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