Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
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I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I understand Curling. That high.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
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Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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