Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
