i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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