I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize