I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize