It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize