our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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