STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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