She is in my trunk
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
