He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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