Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
