Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
