She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
