escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
