someone get that fucking seahorse.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm at about main and main street
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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