He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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